Overcoming Obstacles to Making Disciples in Our Networks:

Introduction: Why Is It So Hard to Make Disciples in Our Networks?

A younger believer once asked an older man, “Can you show me how to disciple someone in real life?” Both of them loved Jesus. Both wanted to grow. Yet neither knew how to begin, how to move forward, or how to sustain disciple-making in their actual relationships. The desire was strong. The pathway was vague.

Many Christians feel this same tension. We want our friends, relatives, coworkers, and neighbors to know Christ. We want our lives to bear fruit. Yet even committed believers struggle to practice disciple-making holistically, cyclically, and systemically across their networks.

If Jesus has given us a simple and direct challenge to make disciples, why do we find it so difficult to live it out?

This document identifies the key barriers that keep ordinary believers from making disciples—and the concrete solutions that help us recover the apostolic way.

For Reflection and Discussion

  • Where does disciple-making feel unclear, intimidating, or overwhelming in your life?

  • What kind of structure or support would make relational disciple-making feel possible?

The Model We Follow: Loving God and Loving Others + Five Movements

At the center of disciple-making is loving God and loving others, the two commands Jesus identified as greatest. These loves are formed and sustained through Scripture, prayer, and fasting—practices that shape our desires, align us with God’s purposes, deepen our dependence on the Spirit, and give us courage to love the people God has placed in our lives. They cultivate the inner life from which faithful obedience and outward mission flow.

From this center flow five interconnected movements that form a simple, repeatable pattern of obedience:

  • Serve to meet practical needs.

  • Seek to find receptive people.

  • Invite to discover the Christian message.

  • Gather to grow in biblical community.

  • Equip to develop new leaders.

This pattern is cyclical. As believers practice these movements repeatedly across their networks, love for God deepens, love for others expands, disciples mature, leaders emerge, households are reached, and churches multiply. The model is simple. Living it out is hard. The following sections explain why—and how we can move forward with clarity and hope.

Ten Problems and Solutions

1. The Context and Patterns of Our Lives

Problems We Face: We inherit cultural, technological, and church-shaped patterns that make relational disciple-making difficult long before we begin. Many believers have never seen older and younger Christians walk together in the Titus 2 pattern, and institutional or program-based habits often replace relational apprenticeship. Parachurch ministries can unintentionally pull discipleship away from neighbors and natural networks, while busyness and shallow relational rhythms leave little space for intentional investment.

Solutions That Help: We begin by adopting simple rhythms of presence—shared meals, neighbor care, slow conversations, and regular prayer. Word, prayer, and fasting re-center households as base camps for relational mission, while one or two intentional habits open relational space for deeper friendship. As older and younger believers walk together in everyday life, disciple-making becomes natural instead of foreign.

For Reflection and Action

  1. Which patterns in your weekly life make relational disciple-making difficult?

  2. What one small relational habit could you add this week to create more space for people?

2. Knowledge of Biblical Responsibility

Problems We Face: Many believers hesitate to engage in disciple-making because they do not understand their shared responsibility in Christ’s mission. Some say, “I am not a pastor,” and therefore assume the work belongs to church leaders. Others say, “It is not my calling,” and wait to discover a unique ministry role before taking any initiative. Many say, “I am not gifted at sharing my faith,” and believe evangelism requires a rare personality or specialized skill. Some say, “I do not know how to disciple others,” and assume inexperience disqualifies them from beginning. Without clear biblical grounding in the Great Commission, everyday Christians remain unsure whether they themselves are meant to help others trust and follow Jesus.

Solutions That Help: Scripture offers a different vision. It presents disciple-making as a normal expression of belonging to Jesus and walking by the Spirit (Matt. 28:18–20; John 20:21; 2 Cor. 5:17–21). It identifies every Christian as part of a royal priesthood and a witnessing people whose lives and words draw others toward Christ. It commands all believers to love God wholeheartedly and to love their neighbors sacrificially, making disciples within the relationships God has already given them. When Christians see that the Great Commission is shared, that gifts exist to build others up, and that their networks are God-assigned mission fields, the work becomes accessible rather than intimidating. Clarity restores confidence, and confidence nurtures joyful obedience that bears fruit for the glory of Jesus.

For Reflection and Action

  1. When you read Jesus’s command to make disciples, what assumptions or hesitations rise in your mind about whether this applies personally to you?

  2. How have ideas about “calling” or “vocational ministry” caused you to hesitate or hold back from the responsibility Jesus gives every believer to make disciples?

  3. In what ways have assumptions about spiritual gifts—such as “I’m not an evangelist” or “I’m not a teacher”—kept you from helping others trust and follow Jesus in ordinary relationships?

3. Mission Clarity

Problems We Face: Many believers love Jesus but remain unclear about what disciple-making actually involves. Mission often feels like events or specialized programs rather than something that happens in ordinary relationships across networks of family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors. Without a simple definition, believers feel unqualified and unsure where to begin.

Solutions That Help: We clarify mission by defining disciple-making as helping others trust Jesus, obey Jesus, and teach others to do the same. By mapping our relational networks and praying for them regularly, we discover where God is already at work. Mission becomes accessible when believers see themselves as everyday ambassadors of Christ within their existing spheres of life. See Mission: To Make Disciples of All Nations.

For Reflection and Action

  1. How would you express the Great Commission in your own words?

  2. Whose name from your relational network comes to mind as you seek to lead people to God?

4. Character

Problems We Face: Believers often struggle with inconsistent or immature character that can hinder their ability to faithfully evangelize and disciple others. At times, we lack love for God, love for our neighbors, or joy in our salvation—and any one of those can significantly hinder our ability to speak truth to others. Also, we may prioritize what others think of us over their eternal well-being. Our weaknesses, such as a lack of boldness or reluctance to suffer for the gospel, can limit our willingness to step out and share the hope of Christ with others.

Solutions That Help: The path forward is honest repentance and renewed dependence on God. We bring fear, coldness, and people-pleasing into the light, asking God to restore our joy and re-order our loves through the Word, prayer, and fasting (Ps. 51:12; Matt. 6:1–18). In community, accountability and encouragement help us resist drift and grow in courage and love (Heb. 3:12–13; 10:24–25). As the Spirit produces his fruit in us—especially love, joy, and courage—we become freer and bolder in sharing Christ, for the glory of God and the good of those we love.

For Reflection and Action:

  1. In what areas of your character would you like to grow—particularly as it relates to evangelizing and discipling others?

  2. What practical steps can you take to overcome fear of man or self-centeredness?

5. Strategy: A Clear, Repeatable Pathway

Problems We Face: Believers often struggle not because they lack desire but because they lack a pathway they can actually follow. Disciple-making feels overwhelming or vague, and many churches rely on programs rather than reproducible patterns. Without structure, obedience becomes inconsistent or short-lived.

Solutions That Help: Our approach to making disciples (WPF + Five Movements) model provides a simple map anyone can follow: serve, seek, invite, gather, and equip. As believers focus on one next step at a time and practice these movements in community, clarity replaces confusion and movement replaces stagnation. Tools, diagrams, and weekly practices help reduce complexity and increase confidence.

For Reflection and Action

  1. For the sake of reaching your networks for Christ, what would it look like if you were more focused and consistent in turning to God through the Word, prayer, and fasting.

  2. Which of the five movements feels most natural to you—and which feels least familiar?

6. Marital Alignment

Problems We Face: Disciple-making is often difficult when spouses are not aligned in faith or mission. If one spouse is not a Christian, the believing partner may experience real limits, fatigue, or loneliness in pursuing hospitality, evangelism, and leadership within the home (1 Cor. 7:32–35). Even when both spouses profess faith in Christ, disciple-making can stall if one has not fully embraced Jesus’s call to make disciples or remains hesitant about relational mission. Uneven commitment, caution, or competing priorities can quietly restrict shared obedience and long-term fruitfulness.

Solutions That Help: When husbands and wives commit together to the mission of Jesus and anchor their life in the Word, prayer, and fasting, their desires and priorities are gradually aligned by the Spirit (Acts 2:42; Col. 3:16–17). As couples learn to harmonize their gifts in service of one mission rather than competing visions, the home becomes a place of peace, credibility, and gospel fruitfulness (1 Pet. 3:1–2).

For Reflection and Action

  1. How aligned are you and your spouse in how you understand Christ’s mission and its place in your household right now

  2. What one small step—prayer, conversation, or shared action—could move your marriage toward greater unity in serving Christ together?

7. The Nature of Church Gatherings

Problems We Face: Modern church structures, though often good, can unintentionally hinder relational disciple-making. Gatherings tend to emphasize passive listening rather than shared participation, and the Lord’s Supper is often separated from relational fellowship. As a result, believers rarely experience reproducible, simple-church models they can practice in their own homes.

Solutions That Help: We gather around meals, Scripture, prayer, and mutual ministry, creating an environment where relationships deepen and discipleship becomes tangible. Reintegrating the Lord’s Supper into shared meals and simplifying gatherings make church life transferable to households. Every believer learns to contribute, strengthening the community and its witness. See Gathering in Homes: The Weekly Assembly of the Church.

For Reflection and Action

  1. What are the advantages of gathering in meal-based communities on a weekly basis?

  2. What one adjustment could make your gatherings more welcoming to unbelievers?

8. Gospel Presentations

Problems We Face: Evangelism often feels intimidating because believers lack a simple, relational way to explain the gospel. Many struggle to summarize the message clearly, fear difficult questions, or feel pressure for results. Without a repeatable tool, evangelism becomes rare and awkward.

Solutions That Help: Using resources like The Path to God gives believers a natural way to explore Scripture with non-Christians. Low-pressure invitations—“Would you read this with me?”—make evangelism accessible and relational. Practicing one-sentence gospel summaries and sharing personal stories builds clarity and confidence.

For Reflection and Action

  1. Which aspect of the gospel—God’s character, human need, Christ’s work, or our response—do you sense the Spirit inviting you to understand more deeply?

  2. Who might the Spirit be leading you to approach with a gentle invitation: “Would you read The Path to God with me?”

9. Discipleship Tools for Men and Women

Problems We Face: Many believers want to help others grow but feel unprepared to lead a simple Scripture conversation. Fear of not knowing enough keeps people from taking initiative, and teaching is often left to experts rather than shared across the body. Men and women alike hesitate to lead spiritually without clear tools.

Solutions That Help: Simple, Scripture-centered tools—such as The Discipleship Series—give believers a practical way to open the Bible with others. Using reproducible formats like read, discuss, apply, and pray builds confidence and competence. Short trainings and co-leading environments help new leaders learn by doing and normalize everyday conversations around God’s Word.

For Reflection and Action

  1. Why do so many believers lack a clear plan for discipling others?

  2. What fear or uncertainty keeps you from discipling other believers more faithfully?

10. Coaching and Accountability Structures

Problems We Face: Disciple-making seldom thrives without relational support, guidance, and encouragement. Many believers feel isolated or unsure whether they are being faithful, and new leaders lack models for how to help others grow. Intentions fade quickly without shared reflection or a clear developmental pathway.

Solutions That Help: Individual and group coaching create a relational pathway for growth, helping believers take simple steps of obedience over time. Regular meetings centered on Scripture, prayer, and next steps strengthen consistency and courage. As leaders invest in “faithful people who can teach others also,” multiplication becomes normal and expected. See Individual Coaching and Prayer and Group Coaching and Prayer for useful solutions.

For Reflection and Action

  1. What stands in the way of you receiving ministry coaching to help you make disciples through evangelism and discipleship?

  2. What stands in the way of you being a more faithful ministry coach for others?

Conclusion: A Call to Repentance, Faith, and Obedience

At the center of disciple-making is love for God and love for others, expressed through a simple and deeply biblical rhythm of obedience. As believers remain devoted to loving God through the Word, prayer, and fasting, and loving others through serving, seeking, inviting, gathering, and equipping, disciple-making becomes both faithful and sustainable. When any part of this rhythm is neglected, love grows thin and the pattern slows or stops. But when believers return to Jesus, depend on the Spirit, and take faithful steps within their relational networks, God brings surprising fruit.

Our first step is not to do more, but to return to Christ in repentance and trust. We confess where our love for God has grown cold or where our love for others has been withheld through fear, distraction, or self-reliance. We ask the Father to renew our love, strengthen our faith, and direct us toward one person to serve, pray for, or invite. As we respond in simple obedience, disciples make disciples, churches are strengthened and multiplied, and the name of Jesus is honored in households, neighborhoods, and cities.